Home > humor, general nuttiness, pepper spray > Pepper and the Pit Bull

Pepper and the Pit Bull

Not me, but it could be


Please excuse me for waiting to post about pepper, but an incident has been festering in my bosom lately, awaiting a release.

I came home later than usual after a meditation class where we danced around and said some om’s here and there and after a stop at the grocery to find my dogs, Mookie Moo and Bitsy Boo, awaiting their afternoon constitution.  Seeing that it was already dark, I decided upon a short jaunt in back.

But the sky had peach-colored strands streaking across it like satin ribbons, so I decided to take them outside the gate to enjoy the last bits of daylight.  No sooner had we stepped out when along came the pit bull, who probably wasn’t paying attention to any sky.  Now I have nothing against pit bulls so long as they’re on a leash, pictured on an ASPCA website or standing beside Buckwheat in a movie. Otherwise, it is no thank you to the pit bulls for me.

Besides, this one’s jaws weren’t wired shut and it didn’t look too ready to play, so I did what any A-type dog owner would do.  I pulled out pepper and let it do its trick.  As predicted, the dog ran away, but as not predicted, it returned.  So I sprayed again and it ran off and came back again, though not as close.  A Santa Ana blew on the third try, so I got an eyeful while my dogs remained perfectly content and unaware.  But this time around, the owner pulled up, it got in his truck and off they went; I wasn’t going to miss them.

Yes if anything, this emphasizes the need for pepper spray, a stun gun, a walking stick and maybe a Sherman Tank when venturing out in certain neighborhoods.  So now that the buying season is here, I’ve assembled a shopping list.

Holiday Shopping List

1.  Plasma flat screen TV
2.  2.5 oz canister of pepper spray
3.  Revolving charge card at Sears
4.  Revolving charge card at Bloomingdale’s
5.  4 oz canister of pepper spray
6.  Twenty-dollar gift cards
7.  Lamborghini
8.  Pepper spray holder
9.  Sherman Tank
10.Eggnog

Pepper is versatile and because the manufactures got wise and made the canister in pink, it could also be used in Easter egg hunts or as part of the basket and featured on the Home Shopping Channel because of the decorator’s colors.

And to think this all came out of a neighbor accusing my dogs of using his front yard a cesspool.

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