Home > humor, general nuttiness > Revealing the Girls Wisely

Revealing the Girls Wisely

Like many others, I know that the chestal region has many purposes.  Though not being in the medical field, I googled it and founda web site talked about milk production.  It left me hanging, so I have invented some of my own.  This chestal region has more purposes than the giving of milk.  It also protects the heart and helps companies like Victoria’s Secret, Warner’s and Maidenform sell brassieres and things.  They are also decorative and can be made bigger or smaller with exercise, proteins and sometimes the help of a good surgeon as a last resort.

But what they are not for is to feed young ones in public unless you are a cow in a public place like the Gentle Barn.  This is why I am so perplexed that breastfeeding mom, Natalie Hegedus, is so perplexed that a judge asked her to put hers away when she went to feed her kid in his courtroom.

If the judge, like most people wanted to view them, he wouldn’t have become a judge.  He would have become an ob/gynie.

Frankly, I side with the judge on that one, and I always hate it when a woman whips one out to feed her young in public (excluding the women’s RR in Macy’s and Nordstrom’s, that have couches for this.)  That’s why some gynecological genius got the idea for a breast pump.  Your kid is hungry, you can always prepare in advance and whip a bottle out instead.  Some of them are very decorative and even have panda bears and gingerbread men on them.

But I hate it when someone always has to come along and make a point about how it is natural.  Lots of things are natural.  Trimming the toenails is natural, but you don’t see anyone doing it in public except maybe in certain Occupy Wall Street camps and on some el trains in Chicago.  Flatulence is natural, too, but you don’t see anyone curring loose in public and expect it to go unnoticed, and the same for the alimentary canal and other natural functions, too.  Besides, there is something contrary about hijacking something that is supposed to be sexy and turning it into something that is utilitarian and not expecting anyone to sit up and take note.

So ladies, please leave your tatas covered unless you are out for a night on the town, are at the beach and want to show some cleavage or are traipsing down the runway of a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.  Otherwise, they are yours to have and behold and not for public viewing.

  1. November 21, 2011 at 7:30 am

    Interesting title and post! I like your style.

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