Home > humor, general nuttiness > Riding on Genius

Riding on Genius

Genius is a many splendored thing.  It is why we are no longer living in caves or yodeling and swinging on vines to get somewheres in a hurry.  It is why we have cars and car horns.  Genius is what got us light bulbs, umbrellas and galoshes; it’s what got us laptops and that styrofoam they use for packing.  It’s what’s got us bus passes and coffeemakers and red licorice, and it’s what got us police bait cars that are parked in plain view with lots of goodies that criminals love.

Two especially geniuses from somewhere in LA, got into a car they didn’t know was being used as bait.  A detective, dressed in baggy pants and dark sunglasses, had just wiped off his fingerprints away before getting into another car and speeding away.

Genius Extraordinaire, 23 year-old Edwin A. Hernandez, saw the man in the baggy pants and dark sunglasses leave a perfectly wonderful and beautiful abandoned Toyota Camry.  He sauntered on by and eyeballed the contents of the car.  It was a car thief’s paradise.  A carton of cigarettes.  Check.  A laptop in the front seat.  (Double check)  A key in the ignition?  (What the #$%^, man?!!!)

So he heeded the call of the wild and encouraged his buddy and fellow career criminal, 24 year-old Victor A. Vasquez, to join him.  Vasquez “had a bad feeling about it” but he ignored those gut instincts that counselors always advise their clients to listen to, and off they went.

When the doors locked and the car stopped moving a few blocks away, they realized that their derrieres were parked not in a normal car but in a baited one.  It rolled to a stop an elementary school where the two had probably spent about as much time in during their formative years as a skinhead at an Israel Bonds dinner.  Vasquez’s son attends the school, but he wasn’t outside, so he didn’t witness his father’s special brand of genius again as the police arrested him for grand theft auto and drug possession after finding two methamphetamine pipes in the car.

“My mind wasn’t on no robbing or nothing,” claimed Vasquez after his arrest.

Of course, though he might want to enroll in some jailhouse GED classes to work on his grammar.

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  1. October 10, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    Are you really saying that the police were master baiters in enticing these two further into a life of crime?

  2. October 13, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Funny post. The above comment was pretty damn funny, too.

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