The Terrorist’s Vocabulary Lesson

Make no bones about it. My mission here on this earth is threefold: to blog, to annoy and to breathe in as much air as I can before expelling a bunch of hot air for a speech. There are some others, but I can’t reveal them now, either because I haven’t thought of them yet or they are too personal.

And that is why when I get annoyed, I take action. I must. It is part of my constitution, my mission, my raison d’etre, aside from the other aforementioned missions. And that’s why I am here now, to give a grammar lesson, if you will about the language of a flotilla. I was an English teacher in my former life and have a credential that isn’t set to expire for another year, so here goes:

Vocabulary Word # 1: Freedom Fighter, n. (Free’dom- Figh’ter) A Freedom Fighter is a terrorist aiming to free the Israelis of their land so they can move in and set up camps where they can lounge around and procreate.

# 2: Flotilla Aid, n. (flo’tilla – aid) A ship filled with things to aid the Palestinians in removing the Israelis from land that the UN partitioned in 1948 and/ or that the Israelis won in wars waged by the Arabs. When you see the words “Flotilla Aid” think weapons, not pampers, figs and scented soap.

It’s one helluva misnomer.

# 3: Passive Activist, n. (pas’sive – ac’tiv’ist) Is a subspecies of human who sits on his arse (passive) before launching a rocket to kill those he doesn’t like (activist) after blaming them for his arse-sitting position in life. See terrorist, stooge, liar and all around goomba.

# 4: Occupation n. (occ’u-pa-shion) The land that the Israelis lawfully live on that the Arabs want. Synonymous with to lawfully live on.

Word # 5: Terrorist (ter’or-ist) One whose job it is to main, kill and destroy others after blaming them for taking land that was partitioned by the UN or won in a war then blaming them for other all-around miseries in life like unemployment and not enough good stuff for the hookah. (See a nimrod, crank and goomba.)

There will be no quiz on these words because they are in the media all the time especially in online rags like the Huffington Post and in papers like the New York Times and the Guardian.